Finding Home Again
by Rockithegreat
Summary: Lara Parry has thought all her life that her father is just strange, her grandmother is just crazy, and her godmother is just wise. But, the appearence of a strange angel and a mystical ring have Lara questioning her entire life.


Chapter 1  
  
Lara had grown up with strange parents. Her father always had his head in the clouds and it was for that very reason that her mother had left him. Her Gramma hadn't made it any easier for her Mama either. Lara's mother had always thought that the elderly widow was crazy and was always saying so. So, the twelve year old lived with her father, Gramother and Great Aunt Mary. Mary wasn't really Lara's Great Aunt, but the little girl spent more time with her than any other member of the Parry family, and, ever since Lara could remember, she had always thought of the artistic old lady so. When Lara's father, Will Parry, was young, his father had died and his mother slowly went insane trying to keep the two of them clothed and fed. Will went to his most trusted adult friend, his piano teacher, and kept Gramma Parry at the musical teacher's home until he could contact social security (the beloved mentor died later before Lara was born). This was where Great Aunt Mary Malone came into the picture. Lara was hazy on the details, but she knew better than to ask her hard-working father about any such details, she had tried doing that before, but never had she gotton an answer that made sense. Aunt Mary was Will's adult friend from the library or somewhere and she had helped him and his mother get back on their feet after Will got help from social security and had lived with the family ever since. Often, Mr. Parry was so forlorn when he spoke of that time, that Lara was scared to inquire further. The now 32 year old father had gone into the Army and had been working for their undercover investigations ever since he dropped out of highschool. Aunt Mary and the social security help had kept the four people from going into too deep of debt. Lara's mother had been one of Will's college classmates. They were married for two short years, and then she left in a heat of anger over some conversation about one of the stories that Aunt Mary had told. Lara never knew what that story was about, except something about a twelve year old boy and a girl with a pet pine marten, or something of the sort. But that was a long time ago, and the four year old Lara hadn't seen her mother since. Lara always wondered about her mother, and often asked questions. When the constantly curious girl was old enough to have a good grasp of mathematics, she realized that there were two years between when she was born and when her parents got married. She always wondered about that, and when she asked Aunt Mary about it, the elderly mentor sobered.   
  
"Lara, my dear," she had said, " that is for you to ask your father about." But Lara never got an answer from him. When she investigated further in their letters and pictures of college, she began to suspect that her parents had married because they wanted to form a good backround for Lara as a baby, even though they did not nesessarily like each other. It was when Will's different ways and that of his family's became more difficult to live with that Lara's mother left him for an easier life. So, Lara had lived with Gramma Parry, her father and Aunt Mary ever since and not heard squat from her mother.  
  
The motherless girl with the deep, inquiring eyes was far closer to Great Aunt Mary than Gramma Parry. When Will was at work, Lara was at home, being homeschooled by Great Aunt Mary, the retired scientist. When lessons were over, Great Aunt Mary and Lara would go out in the backyard, tending the garden, or in the kitchen, washing dishes and making dinner. Lara liked Aunt Mary because she always told the most facinating stories, stories about animals with wheels for feet and humongus trees and other worlds. What made these stories so facinating for the tall seventh grader was that Aunt Mary always told them as if she had been there as the adventures happened. Lara's favorite story was one about a female heroine, Lara's age, named Lyra. As Lara was walking home to her family's apartment, she wondered for the millionth time if the character was fabricated by Aunt Mary to be similar to Lara or if Lara was named for the girl in the stories because they were so alike.   
  
It was one day, that the tired girl had the parcel of food that Aunt Mary had sent her to pick up from the store. She was walking (as always) with her lifelong friend, Kirjava, Will's cat. Kir-Jee only allowed three people to pet her; Lara, Will, and Gramma Parry. The queenly feline never let Aunt Mary pet her, but the cheerful scientist never complained about it nor tried to touch the large, multicolored cat. Auntie (Lara called her) said that Kirjava never let Lara's mother pet her either. Lara reflected humorously what old Auntie had said that very morning to Lara when she had been complaining about the cat-hair on her bed.  
  
"Don't talk trash about cats, especially Kir-Jee, you never know if they could be listening." With that, the elderly Aunt winked at the cat and Kir-Jee meowed. -Auntie is strange about cats, she always has been.- thought Lara –She was actually acting as though Kirjava could hear her. She was even acting as though they were having a conversation!- Lara never expected otherwise, anyway. Her teacher always was a strange one, and lately Aunt Mary decided to take up drawing and painting. She had began to paint pictures of the creatures from her stories. But, the retired scientist never did much of that in Will's sight. The last time he had seen her painting a picture he looked pained and ran from the room. Lara recalled looking at the picture and seeing only a sandy haired girl, about Lara's age, simling and waving with a strange brass clock-like instrument under her arm. Later, the tall, dark-haired twelve year-old girl had heard her father telling Auntie that he didn't want to see that picture or any others like it again. Aunt Mary still painted, but out of Will's sight, to everyone's plain relief.   
  
Lara's drifting thoughts were broght back to the present when she saw a tall, very tall, she realized with a start, person in a black overcoat drifting out of the shadows toward her. Lara slowed her pace warily, but Kirjava, beside her, bounded forward up to the stranger to stand on her two hind feet.   
  
"Why, hello, Kirjava. So good to see you again. How's Will?" The dark figure spoke as surely as an old friend and also acted as though the multi-colored cat would reply like any human. Lara was slightly relieved to notice that the voice was feminine.   
  
A low, purr-like voice (but very clear) replied, "He is pained, as usual. We miss them very much." Lara was shocked. Had her beloved pet just spoken? It had to be! Was she dreaming? Lara shook her head with astonishment.  
  
The black-cloaked figure said, "Lyra is more forlorn than usual. This would be their twentieth year away from each other. She has sat on the bench in the park every day when she can. Her eyes are red and swollen from crying whenever she is alone. She looks disheveled rather than her usual tidyness."  
  
Kir-Jee replied, "Why have you come, Xaphania? Surely not to bring us such disrupting news?" Kirjava said in a softer voice, so Lara had to strain her ears to hear, "He has a daughter, you know."  
  
The tall person glanced up at Lara, surprised and said to Kirjava, without taking those deep, powerful, colorless eyes from Lara, "She has her father's temperment and eyes, but another mother? No....." The dark figure cocked her head and listened to the air as if hearing someone speak, "Ah.....wedlock. Pressed upon by the husbandless mother who did not wish to be alone?" The cat nodded, quite a feat for a cat. "He was drunk from sorrow and did not notice what he was doing, my guess, they're so vunerable to such tempts when they're young."  
  
This time Lara spoke loudly to the cat and the pale face in the cloak, so that they might know she was annoyed at them talking about her like she wasn't there. "Excuse me. I need to get home now, please clear my path, come ON Kir-Jee." With that, Lara started forward, clinging to her package of food.  
  
"No, Please," the woman in the shadows said, pleading, as though she had not been aware that she was being rude. "I would have thought you would know who I am."  
  
Lara was truly surprised. She stepped back from shock as the cloaked woman drew back her hood. She glowed in the darkness. "Xaphinia, from Auntie's painting!" she breathed. Lara recognized the angel as the subject of one of Auntie's paintings. Xaphinia was the head angel of the rebellion of the Angels story that Auntie had told her long ago, but the image of the beautiful, but wise and aged woman in the oil pastel was exactly like the flesh, er...sort of, image standing in the alley where cat, girl and angel now stood. Lara was truly astounded to see Xaphinia and stepped backward, only to trip over her own feet. She went down with a crash, and at the last second, Lara bit her lip to keep from crying out.   
  
"I am truly sorry," the angel had glided over to help her up. Lara thouht faintly that the holy figure must truly respect her or owe her to rush to help her up, after all, Lara was only a mortal, and Xaphinia was an angel! "As you have noticed, I am Xaphinia. I would have thought, though, that your father........ Will Parry, am I right?" Lara could only nod. ".....Would have told you all about us.....but I guess it was too painful.....and he tried to live his life as though Lyra had never happened. Well," Lara was back on her feet and dusting herself off now, "What I am about to give you is something more powerful than the Knife that your father weilded when he was young. This," She held up a small, crystal ring whose insides glinted with its own supernatural light. It was an amazing sight and Lara was momentarily binded by its briliance. "Is the Crystal Ring. I want you to give this to your father. The ring is from us for both of them, for their services to the universe. And....tell him to be careful!"  
  
With that, the beautiful angel spread her wings and launched into the sky, the only sound for minutes being the soft muttering about safety explaninations from Kir-Jee.  
  
Lara sat there for a while, just looking at the sparkling light radiating from the Crystal Ring. It was a brilliant piece of craftsmanship, perfect in every facet of its glitttering brilliance. The radiating liht from the inside continued to glow, though less brightly than when Lara first saw it. She sat there like a small child with a new, revered toy. Lara couldn't do anything but hold it, for she was afraid she might break it or get fingerprints on it. She gazed into the Crystal Ring's golden threaded core and, for a second, glimpsed a vision of two children holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. The girl with the sandy hair in the vision was weeping, as was the boy. Lara thought faintly that she had seen that picture before, in Aunt Mary's room. It was one of the first things she had painted. Then it was gone, and Lara was alone with her cat, sitting in a dark alley with nothing but a ring to light the air around her. Lara had had many shocks that lonely night, but the realization that dawned upon her was the most shocking of all. –All of these things are in the stories that Auntie told- Lara thought bluntly. –They are REAL! And Da's been hiding this from me all along!- She looked at her cat with horror. –Kirjava.....that was the name of the boy's daemon in lots of Auntie's stories! And I had thought all along that she put that in there because of Kir-Jee!- Lara realized all of a sudden that her father's past was in those "stories", and that there was one big chunk of his life that he had never told her about. Anger flashed through Lara's mind in a great stampede of angry thoughts, quickly replaced by pity for her father's dilema. If they had told her the truth, then she would have been hurt. To know that she was in the world because her own dear Dad got drunk and made a mistake would have been painful for anyone, let alone a little girl! It was less painful now, though, because she had had years to figure it out. Lara almost felt a burden lifted from her shoulders as the information she had just received confirmed what she had hypothesized for years. All in one movement, Lara stood up and beckoned to her lifelong friend, and pet.   
  
"Come on, Kir-Jee." She said decidedly. "We're going home to get some answers out of Da." Without thinking, Lara slipped the ring onto her finger and took a step.   
  
Chapter 2  
  
The air around her swiveled in a hundered colors all at one time, Lara's ears roared with the movement of light years. Lara screamed with surprise and fear, only to find no air to breathe. As soon as it started, the rush of sound and colors stopped. Amazed to find herself still on her feet, she collapsed. A heaping mess of tears and sobs and hair, Lara sruggled to regain control of herself. She heard a swoosh and a soft landing as Kirjava the cat swooped down to the patch of grass in front of the wet and half-mad twelve year old.   
  
"Hush, Hush, it's all right." The multicolored feline purred softly and rubbed herself up against Lara.   
  
"I'm not a baby." She said dejectedly and sniffed. Lara struggled to sit up. She did, finally, and found a tree to her left that she could lean against. She settled herself comphortably and took a deep breath to calm herself down. The disheveled girl looked for damage done to herself and her cat. Nothing, on either, except that Lara found that the Crystal Ring on her finger was scalding hot on her skin. She had been too surprised before to notice, but now she quickly took it off and stuck it tenderly in her shirt pocket. A quick glance at the surrounding area told Lara that it was time to get up and keep moving. She thought she saw a small swirl getting smaller but it was gone the next second and the girl dismissed it as a figment of her imagination. One thing surprised her, though. It was night where she had just been and where she was currently standing it was ten o'clockish, looking at the sun. When she looked in the distance, she saw, between the trees of her surrounding glade, that there were buildings in the distance. Carefully, Lara got up. She was a little wobbly at first, but after a couple steps she was walking as she had done before she had.......well, she didn't want to think about what just happened right at that moment.   
  
Kirjava followed emotionlessly. "I know where we are." She said suddenly. Lara still hadn't gotton used to he idea of her cat talking. "This is not good. This is not good at all." After a pause, the cat began again. "I must go find somene. Please don't wander from this spot, for if you do, I might never be able to find you again. Ok?"  
  
Lara was taken aback. "Ok." She said awkwardly. And the beautiful cat bounded away, into the shadows. Lara knew she had to do something. She couldn't just sit there until her companion returned! Decidedly, Lara got up and put on the ring again. It wasn't hot anymore. It was actually quite cool to the touch. She wanted to pace and think, but she was afraid of what would happen if she took a step. -That's what happened the last time- She thought to herself. Curious, Lara stood up. She knew that she had to take a step. There was no other way to find out. With that thought, she braced herself and stepped forward.   
  
The world spun by again, but this time, Lara was ready for it. The myriad of colors swept through her, touching the essence of who she really was, and for a moment, Lara felt pure joy and love. Then it was gone again, and Lara stood alone in the middle of some farmer's field. She saw a shepard in fields nearby, and took another step, trying not to be noticed. The vortex of sound and color retured. This time, Lara felt screams of pain and agony rip like winds at her shirt and at the parcels she carried. She clung tighter to what she carried. And again it ended. This time, when the agony of her soul being wrenched apart, she was in a cave, and spirits pressed in upon her. Afraid for her safety, Lara took another step, and another, until the emotions and rainbows and symphonies mixed with the various frames of worlds as they flashed by. She was sure she had control now. Will's daughter stopped walking and sat down to rest on a bench. Lara slipped the ring off her finger and set it lovingly in its little niche inside her shirt pocket. Fascinated, the tall seventh grader took in the world around her. It was several minutes before she realized with awe that she was in Oxford. She recognized the tall spires, and lept up. She couldn't wait to talk to Auntie and her father about what just happened. Kirjava forgotton, Lara ran down the farmiliar alleys, until she noticed that these alleys weren't ones she recognized. Determined to find her home and her father, the poor lost, motherless girl ran from alley to alley, trying to find home. She ran for hours, the feelings of loss and despair filling her as she ran on into the night. Dawn was coming, and Lara had given up. She was exaughsted, hungry, and lonely. –If only I'd listened to Kir-Jee. No telling where she is right now, no telling where I am right now either- With that thought, she burst into tears, her shaking sobs making echoes on the walls of the houses. It was another hour of walking on through the strange Oxford before Lara collapsed onto a bench and fell into a restless sleep.  
  
  
  
Lyra awoke at dawn, as she always did. For a moment, she was perfectly content, without any sad or disturbing thoughts to disrupt her peace. Then, in a rush of lonliness, sadness, and grief, Lyra remembered. She remembered her days with Will, and the days without. She had given up asking the alethiometer about him. Sometimes she had no idea what it said, and it only brought her more depression. He was as sad as she was, and that was all that she had learned from her fifteen years of study with the alethiometer. She had awoken every day since post two months of Midsummer's Day, to feel serene for a moment, but then to suddenly be overcome with such deep and bitter longing. She had asked the alethiometer what the moment meant, and it had said "There is something you should be doing." Lyra spent days deciphering that message, and yet, she had no idea what it meant and was even more frustrated than usual. That day was Midsummer's Day. Lyra felt even more pained when she noticed that. She decided to treat the day like any other day, and got out of bed, dressed and strolled downstairs for breakfast with Pentalaimon, her daemon. Jonothan was already downstairs by the time she entered the eating area. Jonothan was her husband. –He's so graceful, but not anything near as graceful as Will...........- She forced that thought out of her head. –No! I promised I wouldn't compare between the two.- Lyra was very pursuasive when it came to convincing others, but when it came to herself, she could sooner move a boulder. He nodded a greeting as he strode out the door, reading the morning paper. Lyra opened the black velvet case of the alethiometer and settled herself down at the table. She was about to ask what the weather was like, her usual question to study the movement and symbol patterns of the polished brass instrument, when Pentalaimon came bounding through the door.   
  
"To the bench, quickly! We have company." He said and turned back around to stride through the door. Lyra knew the drill. That phrase was used when he found another runaway or lost child. Lyra was known throughout Oxford for her helping of children in need. The bench nearby her penthouse was slightly hidden by a brick wall and lots of trees, and it was a prime spot for lost or scared children to hide. She glided after him. A beautiful sight at 31, Lyra Silvertougne was known and respected everywhere for her great deeds before, during and after the fall of the Kingdom of Heaven. She was known in other worlds too! Ones where she had visited or stayed with Will, or where those who were allies to Lyra's side or those who repeated tales that they heard from witches. Lyra was a universal hero. And still she was unhappy. Because with the loss of her Will, she had stopped the problems and so had Will. It was the sacrifice that had to have been made for the universe.   
  
Lyra stopped just short of the edge of trees that hid the sleeping child from her sight. Lyra stepped forward quietly to find herself facing a tightly curled sleeping girl of about twelve or thirteen. -She looks so sad, so angry- Lyra thought sympethetically. She knelt forward to push a lock of dark brown hair from the sleeping girl's face. Lyra thought that there was something oddly familiar about that face. –Perhaps one I've rescued before?- She thought to herself silently as the girl's face relaxed a little. Lyra felt the girl rise from her deep slumber and leaned forward so that when the girl awoke she would be able to see right into Lyra's eyes. The dark-haired girl opened her eyes, and Lyra found herself being stared at by two deep, fierce eyes, -Will's eyes- she thought, flabbergasted. The girl had eyes so like his, she could have been his sister, or his daughter........... Lyra was so shocked that she could not move from the position in which she kneeled as the girl stood up, frightened. Pentalaimon was not as stuck, though. He saw the similarities too, but he immidiately bounced up to the fleeing girl and rubbed himself against her legs. Lyra was immidiately on her feet. It was very strange feeling to have one's daemon touched by another person, so Lyra was unstuck again.   
  
"Please, wait!" she called to the girl, but, somehow, the girl had disiappeared into some hole. –It's a window! Shaped by her body!- Lyra was amazed, but not so amazed as to not notice that Pan was gone too. "Oh, no!" she exclaimed with feeling, "How am I ever going to explain this!?" But Lyra decided what to do before she finished saying those words. She was going to talk to Xaphinia, the head angel, and she was going to find her daemon and that girl...whoever she was...she would find her. Her next problem was only, where too find Xaphinia?  
  
Lara had slipped the ring onto her finger at the last second to flee from the frighteningly similar face of the girl in the picture, but, by accident, she had brought along a daemon. She collapsed, to bring the strain off her stiff muscles, and to try to restrain the grief that she had undergone. The small red and gold fox..a pine marten, she remembered, had sat himself down in front of Lara as soon as she transported them.   
  
"Do you know what you just did?" He asked her as she slipped the ring off her finger.   
  
"Yes," she replied wearily. "I just took us from one world to another. But why aren't you suffering? Aren't daemons supposed to stay glued to their humans?"  
  
He sniffed. "We were separated in the-"   
  
"Yes, Yes, I remember." She interrupted, "The realms of the dead, I heard."  
  
He was taken aback. "What? How? Only select few of our closest friends know that! Unless...." He peered at her through his squinty eyes. "You know Will Parry. And, seeing as how you can travel between worlds, this is possible."  
  
Lara sighed for a moment. She looked at the small pine marten in front of her, looking patiently at her through the tufts of fur that grew in front of his eyes (they looked as though they needed to be trimmed again). "He's me Da." She said at last. "And you must be Pentalaimon, Lyra's daemon?" The small animal looked very forlorn and sad, as though reflecting the emotions swirling inside herself.   
  
"Yes. That is who I am." He replied sadly. Lara looked into his small, beady eyes and saw the creature, the soul that was Lyra, that was Pentalaimon. She felt very alone. "Can you get me to Will or Kirjava?" he asked softly, the pleading look plain in his dark eyes. Pentalaimen was a creature from her dreams, from paintings and stories, and yet, here he was in front of her very eyes. It had all happened so fast. Everything was so real, there was no considering this was a dream, it was real, only, surreal to her.  
  
"I'll try, though don't think that I haven't tried that myself." She announced sadly, and for a moment she was overcome by the meleancholy emotions that she tried to keep inside or her. "There's so many worlds. I don't know if I'd be able to find them in all the worlds."  
  
"You can try. That's what matters. Let's go now." He got up and leaped into her arms. She was surprised that he would be so daring, after all, daemons are special and it is very strange indeed to have one's daemon touched. But, he seemed so sure and confident, so she put on the Crystal Ring.   
  
"Hold on!" The young girl said, and took a step forward.   
  
Chapter 3  
  
Will was wringing his hands and pacing in frustration; Mary Malone sat in her usual rocking chair, lips thin and parched, as though she was fighting to keep harsh words inside of her.  
  
"Where is she!?" Will asked furiously for the hundredth time. Lara had disiappeared, and with her, Kirjava. Will's mother was out on her usual evening walk, completely oblivious to the disaster in the Parry household. "This is so unlike her to do something like this. We can't leave her out there. The police are no help, though, we have called them, and they're 'looking for her'."   
  
Mary looked at the distraught father with a sigh. She knew very well what thoughts were going through his head, thoughts of kidnappers, gangs, murderers of all kinds. There was one thought, however, that she believed he hadn't thought of yet. "Will, dear..." Ms. Malone began softly. "Maybe...Do you remember what happened to your father?"  
  
A moment of silence came over the room. It seemed so empty, so silent. Without the young Lara, the unstable Mrs. Parry, and the daemon Kirjava, there was no action. It was strange, there had been no silences like this one for a very long time. The notion of the other worlds, the two adult's histories, Lyra, had not been mentioned for a very long time, though it rested on everyone's minds heavily. It was almost a taboo in the household to mention it, if only because it was so hard for Will to come to face anything dealing with his past love. He looked up at Mary very slowly, a strange, almost shocked look on his face.   
  
"Wwwih..." He said, without making any sense. "Llllieee...Whhhaaat if..." Will's eyes widened, for the first time in years, mary saw a glimmer of something in his eyes. It was life she saw in his eyes; life, hope, joy of living. "Dddoo yyyou reaaally tthhhiink??" He said everything very slowly, but managed to stutter through it all. Will spoke the words as though he were asking himself more than the elderly woman beside him. "No, no...It's not possible, you see! They closed all the windows...they closed them!" Will stood up, more bitter than ever. "Mary! No! How dare you bring that up in this household! You know it's not possible as much as I do!" He paced, and ran his fingers through his hair. Lines creased his tired face. "Ohh, it is such a long walk from here to the market, I shouldn't have sent her on a journey like that by herself! I-"  
  
Mary interrupted him. "No, Will." She stopped and looked at him. "You can;t go blambing yourself, she is a smart girl, she will be fine, and come home to us. I promise." She said that with considerable more confidence than she meant, but the important thing was to calm Will down. 


End file.
